I asked.
Nonchalant, she kept humming that annoying song “Tujhe dekha to ye jana Sanam, pyar hota hai deewana sanam”
I hissed and asked her again. What was so special? And why are you zoned out?
“I just told you”, she said. Confused, I looked at her because I really couldn’t fathom what she meant.
She said I saw myself. That night I saw the whole of myself. Broken yet beautiful, scared yet strong, rummaging the last ounce of courage she had to face life like a true fighter. I saw the version of myself that was so unbothered about the voices in her head, she was just focused on picking up the pieces of her being, still holding on to the last slice of hope that she could fix herself.
I stared at her confused thinking how could she fall in love with her broken self?
She understood my mind and said something that still remains etched in my heart. She said “I fell in love with the version of myself that night coz the silence was louder than the voices, she had virtues but she also loved her vices, she wasn’t groomed, yet her face had a glow that kept all the darkness away, the glow that stemmed from her little heart, the flickering light in her that she protected with all her might. That night she became her own knight. The Raj I was looking for my Simran has always been within me. That night I saw courage in its true sense, broken yet beautiful.”
The love that we look out for has always been within us and the light that we crave for has always been shining inside us. There’s strength in solitude but loneliness is also not a sign of weakness.
That day I understood the true meaning of the song through her. The girl standing in front of me, staring at me with love filled eyes through the mirror.